Bits and Pieces…
Three in the morning, the coldness envelopes the surrounding. The rain has just ended and I find myself on my own in the stillness of the full moon night. Still awake, cannot force myself to sleep when all of me is unstable… a restless rumbling in my heart… a war waging in my mind… darkness capturing my soul.
Why am I feeling this way? Shouldn’t I be lying unconsciously in my bed and savoring the taste of deep sleep? I hugged myself, this is one of those moments that I cannot understand myself. It’s far worse than when no one understands you. I pounded my fist on the pillow, it didn’t release the tension I feel. I got up and punched the wall, the aggraviation inside mounting. Hit once, hit twice, hit thrice… it doesn’t hurt. It hurts me more inside.
With the blood dripping slowly from the bruised knuckle, I made my way to the window and peered to the dark world outside. The silence, this city doesn’t have a life. My hand feeling burned from the cut and slowly I watched as the purest form of life energy glow with a devilish fire as it falls down to the floor… disappearing and tainting the rug with its sinful color.
A blink, a breath and I slowly cherish the pain. The pain from outside blending with the inside. A tear fall from my eyes, sliding down to my cheeks. It disappeared as quickly it appeared. That is for the agony not brought by the action but by the emotion and pysche. How dreadful it feels to be at that moment.
My eyes lingered and caught the clock as it hangs upon above the doorway. The second hands slowly ticking away. The sound it brings seems so loud like a bell that strikes at six o’clock reminding us of the prayers. Time, like any other things slowly slips away. It is made of bits and pieces that could be counted in to hours and minutes. And all of those slowly slipping by… slipping my by.
Changes, so many changes. No matter how we chose to remain what we are there are still changes. There is no escaping it. Everything goes through it, from the biggest to the smallest thing… there’s alway constant change. Some largely noticed while some so minute that you could barely recognize but it has changed.
And where it has happened there are those left wondering. When you don’t have to be left wondering because you are a wonder itself. No one can deny the fact that each one of us is a living wonder. Life is mysterious in its own ways and we are Life… or should I say part of Life itself.
So many thoughts stumbling through my head that I cannot sort it out. My hand continues to bleed as my body falls to the softness of my bed. Closing my eyes, all pains subside… except for the one inside my heart.
