Honesty…
The word that symbolizes truth and in all its glory. A thing that you hold true not just for yourself but to everyone else. It is beauty when shown in all ways but it is also considered a flaw… a vulnerable hit point that others easily prey on. A strength, a weakness… it could be a beginning… it could also mean an end.
Like what the song said, it is such a lonely word. But is it really lonely to share your true self to people that matters to you most? Or is it wasted because of the wrong people to whom you show it too? It is a virtue like no other, incorporated from one’s self since from the start and cannot be taken away that easily.
So many people, so many strangers, so many friends… to whom can I trust my true self? The honesty that I have within me, a part of me.
I haven’t got an answer to that question. For me, being honest comes in many different ways. There are things that I can say to one person that I cannot say to another person. Honesty comes with a matter of trust. For I cannot be completely honest with someone that I don’t have trust. It is complicated in some situations.
There are times in my life that I have been honest and open with people that they took me for granted or abused its power. I gave it to the wrong people. They are predators who hasm preyed on my vulnerability brought by an honest nature. But there are some who hold me tight even when the honesty hurts them, they did because you hold truth for them. That even if it brings them pain, they are glad for that sense of truhfulness you gave them. And those people value you more because of that, not throw you away and leave you because of the truth you hold.
Those experiences taught me a lot on where to put honesty in the right places and at the right time… most importantly to the right people. Everyone deserves honesty, I think we all do. But what goes in my mind, would it be reciprocated as the same as what you have given. Sometimes I think that what we give is not always the same as we receive and I am alright with that. We do all deserve honesty but the fact that it produces different reactions to different individuals is something totally unexpected that it could hold you up high or crush you to the ground.
Everyone deserves it but not all can take it.
Why am I writing all about this honesty stuff? When sometimes I cannot even be honest to myself. I deny truth to myself and hide it to others… keeping it all in until it dissolves my soul to tiny fragments of doubts and fear. It happens, it still does. But then I always recover because if I just keep it… it will get hold of me all at once and break me down. It is glad to know that there are people around you that breaks the truth, making it easier for you to swallow the bitter pill to be able to move on. They gave you honesty.
Those who did this for me, I am ever so grateful. Yes it hurts but I have learned a lot of things about it.
That no matter how you hide things… in the end it always show.
That truth always comes out in the surface… no matter how deep you keep it.
That it is better to be hurt by the truth… than to live in a lie.
That is better to be honest with others… the blame is not on you.
That some people think what a weakling you are for the honesty you show… when in fact you are strong and brave enough to be one.
And the last thing I have learned about honesty.
Is that it can also save a person’s life.
