Angst_Ridden

What we have now belongs to the past, I can clearly see that. You never take notice of me anymore… or so what it seems to me. Guess I have become another "you know who you are" or "used to be" in your life.

No, it doesn’t hurt anymore. This is piece I have written is for the ending… the ending of a beautiful past.. of a dream that never quite came true. Now I recall those moments and all of them seems to be in a blur. I cannot recount the feeling anymore nor how it used to feel. Funny, when yesterday I was so full of emotions and now I am rather empty of it.

Everything that happened between us is now a broken dream. That dream with you has been so beautiful, a beauty that I have fallen in to. A dream that lasted long enought that it became our reality… as it led us to believe. But then truth hit us in one abrupt moment, the dream has ended and I woke up in cold reality that what we have has never been true… it was never true.

Maybe it was me or it was you who has been a dream.

Now in my dreams I try to touch you… do you ever do the same? But like smoke, you fade away. It wasn’t meant for us to touch each other anymore. You said before that I am someone that could be fallen easily in love with… does that mean I am someone that could be easily fallen out of love too?

We are wide awake now. The dream has ended into something we don’t expect. The promises you made before we woke up doesn’t mean anything at all. You pass by me and I pass you by… it seems like we don’t know each other. We see each other but we can never meet eye to eye. It will be this way until one day we lose sight of each other. Never be able to touch one another as we used to before.

So for now, I live my life as if I have never met you and wishing that I never had. But you came in my life for a reason and that I have accepted whole-heartedly… including the pain that came after.

May you be happy on your way as I am right now. Somwhere along the twist and turn of our own roads may we see each other. Not with tears in our eyes and sadness in our hearts but with smiles on our faces and joy inside us.

Don’t look for me for I believe that fate will find a way for us to see one another.

- Memory Book Entry: March 10, 2003