Apology and Forgiveness…
There are moments in our life where things go wrong and we make mistakes. Those are the times that we are confused and don’t know what to do. Things that cannot be undone, no matter how hard we try to erase the traces of our doings. The things we did are clearly imprinted on the minds and heart of those afflicted by the hurt and pain caused by those mistakes and wrongdoings. They can be forgotten in time, but still in deepest part of the memory it can be brought back in a flick of a finger. We can try to forget but there is more to the part of forgiving and moving forward with our lives. Either we prove ourselves worthy of another chance or even chances… or either we take it for granted until it is too late. Then we realize that the things we did make a burden so great that to suffer underneath it is an option.
Nobody is perfect, this quote has been embedded in our consciousness ever since we learned more about Life; as we progress on our journey, as we traverse the road we have chosen. We fall, we stumble… everyone has experienced up and downhill climbs as we put our foot forward, making another step to reach the final distance.
Things go wrong and we make mistakes, yes. They are inevitable, they are part of our lives. But what do matters most in this kind of situations? Is it how you handled it? Is it what you did to amend things? Is it what you did after things has happened? The truth is all of the things I mentioned are essential to make things ALMOST go back to the way they used to be.
Why did I said ALMOST? Because once a mistake has been done, nothing can be done to erase it clean from impressions. Like a dot in a clean sheet of paper, a drop of blood in crystal waters, a marr on a precious vase. What does this imply? Things cannot be regained to the previous state they were in or if regained, takes a long time to be whole again.
Apologizing is one thing that can simply put the hurt away. It means that we are aware of the wrong thing we have done… thus we are conscious of our actions. But there is more to apologizing than just words. Yes, to put the apology in action. We need to something to patch things up. I heard it a couple of times already, not to have it reserved in my memory banks… "Action speaks louder than words".
There are things that cannot be mended just by saying "sorry" or "I apologize", people must see that you are doing something to keep up with the words that you have said. Simply put, PROVE it! There are those who apologize but never do anything to make things up. What is the use of apologizing if we don’t make things right after? To some it might be hard to do, but as a person who knows sympathy or even empathy you must do what you can. Never apologize but then be apathetic about it.
Words are empty without any action taken. Once you apologize, you must do your best not to do it again. But then it goes over and over again until you find out in the end that is becoming a habit. To apologize but then do the same mistakes. What’s the use of apology then? The hurt is increasing in each turn therefore losing trust and respect. Two things that are very valuable to maintain a relationship. We are not just talking about romantic relationships. This also happens between family and friends.
Then there is forgiveness. Forgiveness has never been such an easy thing to ask or even give. There are those who can forgive and forget easily, there are those who cannot. Each and everyone of us knows hows to, but the weight of the circumstances makes it hard to do so. There are those who abuse it, thinking that there are a lot of chances being given after being forgiven.
When it fact it is not that way. You are forgiven because you have shown that you are worthy of it. You have proven that you are deserving to be given a second chance. Can you see the difference? There are those who say, "Forgive me, give me another chance. I will prove it to you…". How hollow those words seem to me. First you must prove yourself first before you can be forgiven and be given that chance you are asking for. Not telling that you will prove it when you have already been forgiven. Forgiveness is something that should be earned rather than be asked. It requires a lot deal of effort.
Now can you tell me the difference?
And one more thing we need to realize, there are no such thing as last, last chance. There is nothing that can be last than last. Once you have been given the chance, do the best what you can to make things go for better not for worst. Try to regain what was lost, though it cannot be replaced instantly or even easily. There is still that part missing when you do something wrong against other people. Some finds that part and put it back where it should be, some tried but no able to and is contented with whatever they have accomplished to get back, and some don’t even bothered to look for it.
It is all up to you on what you will do to put things right back the way they are supposed to be.
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Apologizing is not synonymous to "I won’t do it again" and forgiveness doesn’t always mean second chances.
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